Blog 7 さくぶん：私のかぞく

Part 1:さくぶん「私のかぞく(Draft)」(Due 1pm on Monday, 4/5)　

Write an essay （さくぶん）draft about your family. 

• Go back to your last blog entry, Blog 6, 私のかぞく. Read the comments and correct your errors.
•  Elaborate your blog 6, 私のかぞく on your family members’ physical descriptions and personalities by using the new grammar structures such as:
  --weight
  --eye glasses
  --height
  --body parts
  --personalities
• Do not list simple sentences. Instead, use te-form and connect sentences when it is possible.
• Your final writing product should be a short essay （さくぶん）consisting of an introduction and conclusion with several paragraphs. (See メアリーさんのてがみ on Genki 1 p. 285 as an example.)  
  
  Part 2:さくぶん「私のかぞく(final version)」(Due 1pm on Friday, 4/9)　
• Read the comments and revise your draft.
• Your final writing product should be a short essay with an introduction, conclusion, and a several paragraphs. (See メアリーさんのてがみ on Genki 1 p. 285 as an example.)
  
  

Essay grading rubric: 3 points—content [family members’ description: where they live, occupation, marital status, physical appearance, personality, (age, likes/dislikes, things they often do)]    3 points – all the required information is presented    2 points – not all the required information is presented    1 points – no required information is presented 3 points—coherency & organization  Introduction: “私はX人かぞくです。AとBと・・・がいます” . Conclusion: e.g., “ 私のかぞくはとても大きいです”, “私のかぞくはおもしろくて、たのしいです”, and 私のかぞくが大すきです”. Use transition words such asそして、それから、and でも. Also, use the particle も when it is appropriate.    3 points – coherent and well-organized    2 points – somewhat difficult to follow    1 points – not organized 3 points—grammar/spelling/typing/kanji    3 points – few errors in spelling/typing/kanji/grammar    2 points – many spelling/typing/kanji/grammar error, but still comprehensible    1 points – meaning unclear due to spelling/typing/kanji/grammar errors

Here is my example: 私のかぞく

Introduction: 私 は三人かぞくです。ミネソタのShoreviewにすんでいます。しゅじんと子どもがいます。

Paragraph 1: しゅじんはせが高くて、ちょっとふとっています。いそがしくて、あまりうんどうしませんから。しゅじんはかみがながいです。ときどき、めがねをかけます。ハワイしゅっしんのアメリカ人で、おおしろくてとてもやさしいです。Augsburg Collegeでfine artsをおしえています。

Paragraph 2: 子どもは男の子で５さいです。とても元気でかわいくて、スポーツが大すきです。せがちょっとひくいです。日本語とえい語をはなします。

Conclusion: 私のかぞくは小さいですが、とてもにぎやかです。私は私のかぞくが大すきです。